The "It" Guy. That one guy that seems to be universally attractive to all the girls in the ward. Every ward has at least one, right? And every girl in the ward has fallen under his spell at some point or another - even girls who are visiting the ward are instantly attracted. What is it with these guys - why are they so stinkin' attractive, what is their secret? In the last few wards I have been in these guys seem to be older and more mature/have a career - is it their looks only, or is it the sense that this guy would be a good provider/husband/father? So if they are really that great - why hasn't someone snatched them up yet? I know the older I get the more I hate people wondering why I'm not married and if there is something wrong with me, but I seem to have a double standard in that area. If a guy is older and not married he must be waiting for Miss Perfect - which I am not - so I have no chance.I have created the following chart showing what I see as the "it" guy's top 10 (what my roommate and I lovingly call "Molly Pockets" - the perfect blend, a "Molly Mormon" who is tiny enough to fit in your pocket) versus me.
| Molly Pocket | Me |
| 1. Skinny (to the point of being twig like) | 1. Average - I would like to loose a few pounds, but I am not overweight or obese - although I am tall so even if I were twig like I would still look amazonian to some guys |
| 2. Drop dead gorgeous | 2. Average - I like some characteristics - but I am not going to stop anyone in the street |
| 3. Fashionable | 3. Average - I dress for comfort and have no fashion sense - not bad enough to be on "What Not to Wear" but also not wearing the latest fashion trend |
| 4. Cutesy decorator - some kind-of innate ability to make "Live Laugh Learn" and "Families are Forever" wooden decorations look good in a home to give it that Molly Mormon Mommy feel | 4. Average decorating abilities - I enjoy cute stuff, but I am also on a budget - I am not going to buy silly decorations that I have no use for |
| 5. Spiritual Giant | 5. I think I am okay in this category - although I am in no way a giant |
| 6. Popular - can she socialize and hold her own at my company parties? | 6. I am working on getting over my shyness and being more outgoing, but it is a work in progress |
| 7. Dependent - needs me | 7. I would love to have someone to need, but since I don't, I have a graduate degree and a home. I don't look very needy at the moment |
| 8. Sporty - will enjoy my hobbies with me | 8. I hit myself in the head when I play volleyball, and I ran over the ski instructor when I was taking ski lessons, need I say more |
| 9. Desireable to others (ie - has experience in the dating world) | 9. Okay, honestly this is probably the area I most fall short on - I have never dated anyone. Yes, I am pushing 30 and never been kissed. Where is Michael Vartan when you need him? |
| 10. Nice to everyone - the kind-of girl everyone would love to hate but can't | 10. I try - but pretty people intimidate me so I probably appear to be a snob because I don’t talk to most people |
Don't get me wrong - this is not a bash on me post, or bash on the cute guys post, there are plenty of girls in my ward that fit that description - and I am not saying I am hideous. But I know that I am pleasantly average - not Molly Pocket perfect. But that doesn't stop me from developing a very unhealthy crush on the "it" guy, when I have no hope of it going anywhere. So, my question is, why am I attracted to these guys, and how can I find a nice non-it guy who is looking for a nice average girl like me that will help me get over the current "it" guy who barely knows my name?
4 comments:
"Molly pocket", ha ha, that made me laugh. I like that moniker. I totally understand what you are saying, I am by no means a Molly Pocket. I have always used this fact to explain my singleness, but even some girls that seem nigh unto Molly Pockets don't get the it guy or any guy either. I have three roommates that are my age or just a little younger, they are thin, pretty, outgoing, smart and spiritual, but obviously they aren't married and they haven't had boyfriends in the last year. What is up with that? I suspect it has more to do with the guys and less to do with the girls. Or maybe there are just too many quality girls and not enough guys to go around?
As for the "It" guy, yes sometimes are harbor a fleeting crush on him, but usually the truth is I find these guys cocky and that is a huge turn off. I'd rather have a nice average guy, but they seem to think the should go for the Mollies too,which is frustrating because that only leaves the truly strange ones for me. Am I being too brutal here. Maybe I generalize a bit, but the trend is there. For now I will just be myself and hope that is good enough.
I disagree. I love your title "Molly Pocket" for the concept, but I don't know any guys that really want a girl like that. Even "it" guys.
I think this "Molly Pocket" you describe isn't what men want; it's what our culture has tricked us as women into believing what a Mormon woman should be like. It's unfair to project our feelings inadequacy, of never being able to measure up to an impossible standard, onto the guys that don't seem to be interested in us.
We used to call the 'It' guy in each ward the Resident Player. And I think I agree with i i eee, although I think quite a few men have bought into the idea that they want Molly Pockets, even if they don't really. And Persuasion is my favorite Austen, so I love the screen name!
Amen, Sista! Yes, we have an "it" guy in our ward, and yes, there are several Molly Pockets in our ward too- two of which have already gone off and gotten married within the past month. I totally get how you feel =)
Keep it up Sister Anne
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