I Want Pancakes, or Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

When I was growing up one of our favorite books was Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. In my family, we now say, it was an Alexander Day, not I had a bad day. Well, last Saturday was one of the worst Alexander days I have had in a long time.

I got a new bed set for Christmas and decided while I was putting everything on, I would flip my mattress. Well, this turned out to be a comedy of errors, which included my new bedskirt melting in the dryer, me knocking a lamp over, onto my computer, breaking a key off the keyboard, and finally, the last straw, knocking the entire bed off the blocks that I have it raised up on. It was at this point that I kind-of fell apart. I kept thinking, I am so SICK of this! If I had a husband he could have helped me and this would have been done in no time, with no problems. But no, I can't even do the basic home care items without being reminded that I am alone. I just want to be married already, why is this SO hard!

It was just one of those Alexander days.

Well, I go to my parents house for Sunday dinner every week. They had Stake Conference last week and related a story that seemed to be specifically for me and my frustrations. Not too long ago the Stake President had a day off of work. He decided to make pancakes for his family. His daughter, who is 5 or 6, came in the kitchen and asked him what he was doing. When he told her he was making pancakes she got very excited and sat down to watch him. He was making the pancakes from scratch, so it was taking him awhile to get all the ingredients mixed up, and of course, the batter didn't really look like pancakes to a five year old. She started to get really anxious, and kept telling him, "Daddy, I really want some pancakes, aren't you going to make me some pancakes?" and "Daddy, can I have a pancakes now", "aren't they ready yet?", etc. Finally the Stake President, a little exasperated, took her face in his hands and looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I am making you pancakes, I know it doesn't look like it right now, but I need you to trust me, and you will have your pancakes." The Stake President then related this story to our lives, and how often we tell our Heavenly Father that we want pancakes, and he keeps telling us, "I need you to trust me, it will come".

I know I need to trust in my Heavenly Father more. This isn't the first time the spirit has told me that I need to TRUST. But sometimes it is so hard! It is easy to say, trust Him, but no one ever says, here is how you gain more trust. So, my question is, how do you increase your trust in the Lord and his promises, and how do you show your trust in Him?

Denial?

My second week in the ward wasn't quite as good as the first. I found out a girl I knew in High School is in the ward, married, with three kids. I was excited to talk to her and have a friend in the ward. Well, we only talked long enough for her to tell me that there are a lot of fun older singles in the ward, so I should have a lot of fun in the ward. Really? Then, later in the week, I had a phone call from a counselor in the Bishopric, who also told me there are a lot of great single women in the ward, so you should fit right in.

I have two problems with those statements. First, does that mean that I can only make friends with other people that are single? Second, so far the only singles I have met are older singles, in their 40's or 50's or widows in the 70's. Aren't I too young to be looking for social activities with the 40 and 50 year olds? Maybe I am just in denial. In a young single adult you have people ranging from 18 to 31 - a 13 year time span. Going in the other direction, that means up to 44 - so is it that strange that people would group me in with the 40 year olds? Maybe it is just time for a shift in my perception of "old".

This last weekend, my siblings and I decided to leave the cold, yucky air in Salt Lake and visit my sister in California. I have to say, I wasn't that sad to miss church. Hopefully I can have a better attitude going back this week.

The Tender Mercies of the Lord

I survived my first Sunday in the family ward. I did meet the Relief Society President (who I think is also single - a tender mercy). But I didn't introduce myself to the Bishop. Hopefully I can do that this Sunday. There were a few moments of panic - feeling like I somehow failed and have now lost my chance to ever find someone because I am no longer in a singles ward - but - there were also numerous tender mercies. Today I need to focus on the blessings.

First, my roommate, who is usually not in town on the weekends flew in Sunday morning and met me in Sacrament meeting. Hooray for not sitting alone on my first Sunday.

Second, my bishopric in the singles ward was released about 6 months ago. One of the counselors is in my family ward. So I have someone who already knows me, and is watching out for me in the ward.

And last but not least, a cute young mother (in my eyes she looked to be about 15 - I felt really old) sat down in front of me in Relief Society with her adorable 2 month old baby. Of course I started feeling those baby hungry pangs and feeling sorry for myself because I don't have that blessing yet. And then, the baby spit up all over everything! The mom had a burp cloth but it didn't contain everything - and the mom couldn't see half of what got all over the back of her shirt - and the back of her skirt. The rest of our meetings she was walking around with huge blotches of baby spit up all over her - and I thought - you know - being single does have its advantages. :)