Monday, July 6, 2009


Wow! It has been a long time since I posted! I have had some pretty major family issues to deal with and at the same time got a major time consuming calling in my ward. I am finally starting to feel like I am not drowning and figured it was well past time for a new post.

Over the last few weeks I have had a couple of guys make some kind-of remark about how I would never go for someone like them - when in all actuality, I have been wishing they would just ask me out already! I've never thought of myself as an intimidating person, in fact, I think my lack of self-confidence is one thing that has been hurting me in the dating world. But, on a surface level, I can see how people might think that. I have a career with a good paying job, I have a Master's degree, I own my home, and I have a very visible calling in my ward. On the surface that could seem intimidating, but some of these guys also have careers, law degrees, homes, etc.

I think, the intimidation factor is compounded by my inability to let people see the real me. I hate making mistakes in front of people, I avoid things I know I am not good at because I don't want people to see my weaknesses. I keep a tight reign on my emotions - no one sees me angry, excited, and especially sad.

The problem is, that I'm not sure how to change it is so much a part of who I am now. I want to be more open and honest and real around people, but I don't really know where to start, any suggestions?