Dear Abby

Dear One Reader,
I am in a quandary. I was brave and kept my goal of going to singles activity. I was approached by a man who asked for my number. I have always felt that people can make a very bad first impression, but improve on acquaintance. So I have have a policy of giving a guy who was brave enough to ask for my number a chance. Just as my policy has always been to go out with someone at least once (unless I feel unsafe).

So, although I was not attracted to this man at all (I like men who are at least taller than my shoulders), I gave him my number. He seemed like a nice guy, I didn't feel like he was someone scary - and it was a ward activity, so, I figured what could be the harm. Well, since Saturday night when I gave him my number, he has called Saturday night, Sunday day, and Monday evening. He also sent texts Saturday night, Sunday day, Sunday evening, and Monday evening. Every time he called I was legitimately unavailable, I wasn't avoiding his call, so now I have had three voice mails, and four texts. At this point, despite my intention of giving the guy a chance, I am completely turned off.

So, here is my dilemma. I know how hard it is for guys to ask girls out, and I hate it when I hear guys won't ask girls out because they keep getting turned down. That is why I have the one date policy. But I really don't want to go out with this guy. It isn't an issue of safety. I have since talked to a mutual friend who vouched that he is harmless, if a little intense (obviously). I just don't want to encourage the daily phone calls and texts. When is it okay to break your rules and not give someone a chance? And how would you go about telling this guy to back off? Any guys out there have an opinion on the one date rule? Would you rather have someone tell you flat out she isn't interested - or would you want one date to hopefully make a better impression?