Day 1

Dear Blog -
How does one start an anonymous letter to the blog world? Especially when one has never been great at starting any writing assignment. When I was little I used to write stories and plays - my class even performed a Christmas play I wrote. But it seems that my writing abilities disappeared the older I got. I have always dreamed of writing a story that would capture the imagination, but I am too self-conscious to even let people hear my ideas. So, dear blog, you will tell the sometimes happy, sometimes sad, very often frustrating story of my life.

I was recently challenged to pay attention to my feelings and needs more throughout my week. The most surprising result of this experiment was not the feelings that I recognized, rather the lack thereof. Which made me wonder how I came to the point where I rarely experience a strong emotion. Was it all the times I would get excited about something, only to immediately tell myself not to get my hopes up? Or the times I would be hurt and frustrated by someone, but would push the feelings aside so as to avoid the dreaded confrontation? There have been times of strong emotion - the elation I felt when I got my dream job, the strange mix of emotions a mission brings - homesickness, frustration, love and joy all wrapped into one, the terror of purchasing a home (something I never thought I would be doing on my own). But the small every day emotions are harder for me to recognize and feel. Hopefully this blog will help me to figure out who I am and embrace it!